Not so Lucky

Being Ukrainian, my family loves food. Who doesn't really? Food is essential in life, it becomes part of us, thus feeding not only our physical bodies, but our souls as well. I think that cooking for someone is probably the best gift you can give, as you are truly giving them life. Its no surprise then that celebration and food would go hand in hand. I can't remember a party or holiday at our house that wasn't accompanied with a house full of delicious aromas!!! Of course if you've ever attended a "feast" at my house, you've probably been put to work or swept up in the ensuing chaos that always abounds with said festivities. American Thanksgiving is a perfect example. With a Canadian father and an American mother, we got two Thanksgivings each year. Usually Canadian was spent at Auntie Mary's house, where she did the majority of the preparations. We would come a couple hours early, play while my mother was swept away into the kitchen with the other women, and my dad would fall asleep in the first chair he could find. Usually my Uncle Gerry was watching golf (snore! , but not the reason my dad was sleeping. He just has a talent for being able to sleep anywhere, any time) Various cousins would be crowded around the TV competing for the attention of the golf game to tell stories of who had died, who sold what land, the farm etc. My mother would be in the kitchen with Aunt Mary, Aunt Mary, Mary (I'm totally serious about this, 3 Mary's) plus what ever other womenfolk were within reach to mash, stir, cut, plate, whisk, and bring the kitchen into a organized frenzy. Pretty much the same picture at our house for American Thanksgiving except, no golf. But probably yes to my dad asleep in whatever chair he could find. I joke, as kids he was a big help in the kitchen (I think) Of course we would never have thought of sharing the load. That would be absurd. A Thanksgiving Pot-Luck, what nonsense. Of course someone always brought pies, and my Aunt Mary, Gerry's Mary, not Henry's Mary, brought buns. My other Aunt Mary, otherwise known as Wayno (Ukrainian for aunt) brought sausages. I'm sure someone brought a salad, but the rest; turkey, ham, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, green beans, jellied salad, cranberries, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, whipped cream, something else I'm sure I forgot, all at the hands of my mother!!! It's just the way we do things. You can't trust Pot-Lucks! If you want the meal done right, you do it yourself. So you go a little crazy, and lose 10lbs in the process, but its worth it, cause you gain 15 after the meal. Oh, that is the other thing, in my family, we don't know how to cook for less than say, 30. Even if its family dinner for the 5 of us, always leftovers. I mean a roast is supposed to last for 3 meals plus 3 days worth of sandwiches for lunch, right?!

Now, I have been privy to many a Pot-Luck. Aptly named, as you never really know what you are going to get. Many people try to "organize" the Luck of Pots, but it still really never works. You ask someone to bring a salad, someone else a main dish, etc. I think theme pot lucks are just stupid. "Fall" is not a theme, and you should never have a luck with a theme like, "something orange." RETARDED. I once attended a "dessert" luck of pots. You'd think that this would be one that couldn't go wrong, right? WRONG! Since when did Banana Bread become a dessert. Maybe if the theme was "Sensible Breakfast Alternatives" or "Something Dry" then Banana Bread would be acceptable. I'm sorry, but what fool is going to choose banana bread over chocolate cupcakes, lemon bars, pound cake, sugar cookies, truffles, or pie?!? Even if you are a fan of the bread of banana's, really!!! I doubt anyone would have walked up to the dessert table and said, "Hmmm, this dessert buffet is really missing some Banana Bread." Dessert Pot-Luck, make a Banana Cake. Obviously you had some bananas that were turning brown and you needed to use them. Whip up a sensible cake, frost it with some cream cheese frosting, and parade thru the luck of pots with said 2 tier cake in hand. Everyone would have been, "wow, look at that beautiful cake." Instead you got what, 3/4 of a plate of dry banana bread to take back home!!! Bet you're glad you used up those bananas!!! "Lucks" are also a great way for people who have no creativity to use up all their pantry items. I kid you not I went to a luck once where someone had brought what they lovingly christened "Barley Casserole!" (I don't even know where to begin) The other side of the coin is ending up with 14 plates of Rice Crispy Treats while 40 people all take minuscule spoonfuls of the single lasagna brought in by someone smart enough to bring an entree. Guess you might have to try that barley casserole after all. Man cannot live on Rice Crispy treats alone!!! Then you get those people that bring a dish that serves 4 to a luck for 50 people. 10 deviled eggs just won't cut it!! In fact, just don't bring deviled eggs anyway, because they are gross and mayo based products are huge offenders at any buffet. "Oh and what did you bring to the pot luck? Food poisoning!?" Its a tricky line to walk. Of course church dinners and school functions have to be pot luck. Or do they? Can't a menu be planned and then everyone cook accordingly? We used to have these hot lunches at school where there was a menu and all the moms cooked the food. We paid for the lunch, but same thing really. Organized, assigned Pot Luck!! Its the future people. Better get on the train.......................and stop complaining if you're asked to bring the fancy cheese!!! Celery sticks and ranch dressing does not an appetizer make!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Diary, I have a strange craving for Banana Bread!!