A Spoonful of Sugar

When I was about 13 we moved into North Battleford from the farm. One of the greatest perks of our move into "the city" was we got cable TV. That was a huge thing. On the farm we only got two channels and one usually never came in clearly. You'd have to adjust the antenna all the time. Sometimes you could loose an eye from that thing sticking out so far into the room. Now I'll be the first to admit that I probably faked sick a couple times in my early childhood to get out of school. I mean who hasn't. No one likes being sick. But once we moved into North Battleford, I'm sure I faked sick a few more times. I really liked staying home sick, cause I got to watch lots of cool TV. Looking back, I was watching crap really. Reruns of Saved by the Bell and Supermarket Sweep! I used to watch PBS and all those stupid kids shows too, just cause I never got to see them when I was a little kid. The "level" of your sickness determined if you could be upstairs on the couch and watch TV or if you had to stay in your room. I'd bring up like 3 blankets (they were never in short supply at our house) and maybe a couple of pillows. Sometimes you'd have an empty ice cream pail next to the couch in case you had to throw up. (on a completely different note, I don't think that Americans use the ice cream pail as much as us Canadians. Its like its own unit of measurement. When picking berries, for example, they are always measured in ice cream pail increments. Just an interesting note) So I'd have a drink of water or flat gingerale beside me, maybe some tissues, a cold cloth to put on my face, the trusty remote, and get all bundled up in the blankets. Put on an even "sicker" voice to say good bye to mom and enjoy my day in front of the TV and all that basic cable had to offer.

Fastforward to the present! I hate being sick. Its so annoying!!! Monday I was back in New York for an audition. (Billy Elliot for the 4th time) However, by the late afternoon, I had what can only be described as a large swamp creature, take domicile in my throat. It was like a block of concrete. I thought, "What fresh hell is this!" So I promptly marched myself to the nearest drug store for the essential cold and flu remedies. I am personally a fan of the Alka Seltzer Cold and Flu. I feel like the medicine takes effect quicker as you don't have to wait for the pills to dissolve in your stomach. And it's fizzy! Armed with drugs and a plethora of vitamin C, I rushed home. My dad's advice for any sickness is to "sweat it out." I will say that I find this method quite effective, though I'm sure he'd give that same advise should you have the flu, measles, or hemorrhoids (which I would not want to sweat out) I had a fever, headache, backache, small dinosaur in my throat; it was not going well. So I took the hottest shower I could stand without crisping my skin to a KFC golden brown, had some tea and dry toast (bland city) and off to bed. Of course I was wearing sweats, a hoodie with hood up, socks, 3 blankets and to top it off, my bathrobe. There I lay in my quilted cocoon lulled off into a sweaty dream land, accompanied by the comforting smell of Vic's Vapo Rub. (thank you Vic's people. you have unclogged many a stuffy nostril in my day) By morning I woke soaking wet. Even though I advocate the "sweat it out" method I will say that it's pretty gross. Waking up to sweaty sheets, clothes, socks, pillow all diluted with a hint of Vapo Rub is not cute. The dilemma with this remedy is, what do you do for the next night??? You can't very well sleep on those same germ filled moist Vapo Rubbie sheets!!! I mean a little febreeze is not going to fix that. So you fill your hamper to overflowing with said incubus of viral plague, throw on some new sweats, change the sheets and hope that with a little more tea and toast your flu will go away. By that afternoon I was sick (hehe) of HGTV and the Foodnetwork, which is quite a feat for sure. I took a short walk to get some fresh air, replenished my tea, peed a day glow yellow from all the vitamin C, and started to feel a little better. Of course I was still worried I might have Swine Flu or Goat Virus; whatever new disease the medicine people had made up this year to sell more cough drops. But I was on the mend. I would not let this get me down. Perhaps this was my body's way of making me rest on my day off. Perhaps it was not the flu but an allergic reaction to the leaves falling and mold in the air (I am a highly allergic person) Or perhaps I was just making myself sick with anticipation over yet another Billy Elliot audition!!

Dear Diary, my agent just called. I have a callback for Billy Elliot on Monday. Where did I put my Vapo Rub!!!